One of the most important decisions we made before our gastric sleeve surgery was to be completely open with our family, friends, and even our workplaces about what we were doing – and, crucially, why we were doing it.
We knew that weight loss surgery wasn’t something we could (or should) go through alone. Having the right people around us from the start became one of the biggest reasons we got through the tough days – physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Why We Told Everyone From the Start
We’ve spoken to others who tried to keep their surgery private at first. Many found it increasingly difficult once the weight started dropping rapidly. People around them grew concerned, asking things like,
“You’ve lost so much weight so fast – are you ill?”
Eventually, most had to explain everything anyway, often under more stressful circumstances.
For us, being upfront from the beginning meant we controlled the narrative. There were no awkward rumours or assumptions – everyone knew what was happening and could offer genuine support. It also gave us space to explain that this wasn’t about vanity, but survival.
When friends and family understood that this was a medical decision, not just a diet, they rallied around us in incredible ways.
The Support That Made a Difference
Our family and friends were phenomenal. After surgery, my family brought round homemade broths so we wouldn’t have to worry about cooking. Those early days are long and exhausting, and just not having to think about food prep meant more rest and recovery.
We also had practical support from colleagues. Our workplaces were incredibly accommodating – allowing flexible hours and working from home during the liver reduction diet and early post-op weeks. That flexibility was invaluable.
Even simple things, like friends dropping off groceries, meant the world – especially since we live up 34 stairs, which felt like climbing a mountain in those first weeks.
But perhaps the most unexpected support came from the online community.
We joined several Facebook groups and a WhatsApp group with others who had surgery around the same time. To this day, that WhatsApp group is still active – people check in daily, share updates, advice, and reassurance. It’s a reminder that even when recovery feels isolating, you’re never truly alone.
Why a Support Network Isn’t Optional
Having a strong support network isn’t a luxury – it’s a necessity. Weight loss surgery is one of the biggest physical and emotional changes your body will ever go through. Trying to do it without support is like climbing a mountain without gear.
Here’s why that network matters:
1. Emotional Support
Recovery can be a rollercoaster. Some days you’ll feel amazing; other days, you’ll question everything. Having people who can listen – without judgement – helps you stay grounded when doubt, fear, or frustration creep in.
Whether it’s a partner reminding you why you started or a friend checking in just to say “you’ve got this,” emotional support can make all the difference in maintaining motivation.
2. Practical Help
In the first few weeks, even simple tasks like showering, shopping, or cooking can feel overwhelming. Accepting practical help – meals dropped off, a lift to appointments, someone to fetch groceries – isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s what community is for.
3. Accountability
Having people around you who care about your progress helps you stay on track.
They don’t have to lecture or monitor you – often, just knowing someone’s cheering you on helps you stick to your new habits, follow up with appointments, and keep perspective when old behaviours try to creep back in.
4. Shared Experience
Support groups – whether online or in-person – are invaluable because they remind you that what you’re feeling is normal.
There’s something incredibly comforting about talking to someone who just “gets it” without you needing to explain. That shared experience takes away the loneliness that sometimes comes with drastic change.
5. Stress Reduction
Surgery recovery, body changes, and hormonal shifts all add up to stress. A good support network acts as a buffer – offering reassurance, advice, or even just a bit of distraction. Keeping stress levels low helps with healing and mental balance.
6. Long-Term Success
Weight loss surgery isn’t just about losing the weight – it’s about keeping it off and living a new life.
Support helps you maintain accountability long after the scale has stopped moving. When motivation dips months or even years later, your network can remind you of how far you’ve come and why you started in the first place.
How to Build Your Own Support Network
If you’re preparing for surgery, start thinking about your network early. Here’s what helped us most:
- Be honest from day one. Tell people why you’re doing it and what kind of support you’ll need.
- Involve your GP or bariatric nurse. They can connect you to local or online support groups.
- Join a community before surgery. Hearing from people slightly ahead of you on the journey helps set realistic expectations.
- Don’t rely on one person. Spread support across family, friends, colleagues, and online peers.
- Ask for specific help. People often want to help but don’t know how – give them clear, simple ways to do so.
What We’ve Learned
We’ve learned that being open, vulnerable, and willing to accept help doesn’t make you weak – it makes recovery sustainable.
From home-cooked soup to simple check-in texts, every bit of kindness made this journey easier. Whether your network is small or large, local or online, it’s the connection that matters most.
So, if you’re about to have gastric sleeve surgery – reach out.
Tell people what you’re doing and why.
Let them in.
Because this isn’t a solo journey – it’s a shared one.
Disclaimer: This post is based on our personal experience. It is not medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider for personalised guidance or emotional support resources.