One of the things people rarely talk about before gastric sleeve surgery is how emotional it can be to say goodbye to food – not physically, but emotionally.
Food isn’t just fuel. For many of us, it’s comfort, celebration, distraction, and routine all rolled into one. It’s part of our social lives and our memories. When you suddenly can’t use it in the same way anymore, it leaves a gap – and that can be surprisingly difficult to face.
In the months after surgery, you’ll likely find yourself mourning food in a way that feels strange, almost like losing an old friend – one that wasn’t always good for you, but still played a big part in your life.
Before Surgery: The Anticipation and Anxiety
In the weeks before our surgeries, we both had moments where the excitement turned into anxiety. It wasn’t just fear of the operation – it was knowing that things would never be the same again.
We remember our “last meals” clearly. Not because they were fancy or indulgent, but because we were acutely aware it was the final time we’d eat normally. There’s an odd sadness in knowing that the simple act of sharing a meal – something you’ve done your whole life – is about to change forever.
That’s perfectly normal. It’s part of mentally preparing for what’s ahead.
After Surgery: When the Reality Hits
In those first few weeks after surgery, you’re on liquids and then purées. You’re tired, sore, and adjusting to your new stomach. Food becomes something functional, not enjoyable – and that’s a big emotional shift.
We both found that the early stages weren’t about missing specific foods; it was about missing the freedom of eating without thinking. That first family meal out, when you can only manage a few spoonfuls while everyone else tucks in, can feel isolating.
And then there’s something many people don’t warn you about: food jealousy.
When you see friends enjoying pizza, family ordering a big takeaway, or colleagues tucking into cakes at work, it can hit hard. You want to join in – not because you’re hungry, but because you miss the social side of eating without restriction. We both struggled with that at first.
It’s not bitterness; it’s grief in disguise. You’re watching others enjoy something that used to bring you comfort, and your brain hasn’t caught up with your new reality yet. But here’s the good news – that jealousy does fade.
Over time, you stop craving those things because your priorities shift. You start valuing how good it feels to wake up without discomfort, to move more easily, and to feel in control. Eventually, you can be around others eating whatever they want without feeling deprived.
It just takes time – and a bit of self-compassion while you adjust.
Grieving the Old Relationship
There’s a grief that comes with this process – and grief doesn’t always make sense. You can feel proud, happy, and grateful for your progress, while also feeling sad that you can’t just grab a takeaway or go out for a big meal without thinking twice.
Before surgery, food might have been your comfort in hard times or a way to celebrate good ones. After surgery, you can’t rely on it in that same way. For us, that meant learning new coping mechanisms – talking more, walking, journalling, even just taking time to sit with those emotions instead of eating through them.
There were moments, especially early on, where we would both sit at a restaurant and feel envious of what others were eating – not because we were hungry, but because our brains were still wired to associate food with happiness. It’s completely normal, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for it.
The trick is to remind yourself that you’re not missing out – you’re healing. And in time, you’ll still enjoy food, just without the guilt or overindulgence that used to follow.
Finding Joy in New Ways
What we didn’t expect is that the joy of food eventually returns – just in a different form.
Flavours become more intense when you eat slower and appreciate smaller portions. You start to see food as something to nourish you, not numb you. We’ve found real satisfaction in creating balanced, protein-rich meals that actually make us feel good after eating, instead of sluggish and guilty.
And the social side? It comes back too. You learn how to navigate restaurants, share dishes, and still enjoy those experiences – just on your own terms. (We wrote about this in detail in our post on Eating Out After Gastric Sleeve Surgery).
Accepting the Trade-Off
It’s okay to miss food. It’s okay to grieve the way things were. But it’s also important to recognise what you’ve gained – energy, mobility, confidence, and a healthier relationship with yourself.
We’ve both had moments of frustration, but if we were offered the chance to go back, neither of us would. The trade-off is more than worth it.
Every time we look in the mirror, climb stairs without pain, or simply wake up feeling well, we’re reminded that saying goodbye to that old relationship with food was part of saying hello to a better life.
The emotional side of gastric sleeve surgery is often overlooked, but it’s one of the most significant parts of recovery. You’re not weak for missing food – you’re human.
Allow yourself to feel it. Talk about it. Write about it. Acknowledge the loss, but also celebrate the freedom you’re gaining from no longer being controlled by it.
And if you do feel food jealousy from time to time – that’s okay too. It’s part of the process, and it does get easier. One day you’ll realise you’ve made peace with food, and it will feel natural again.
This journey isn’t about perfection; it’s about balance. Food can still have a place in your life – it just doesn’t get to run it anymore.
Disclaimer: This post is based on our personal experience after gastric sleeve surgery. It is not medical or psychological advice. Everyone’s emotional journey is different – if you’re struggling with food-related grief or emotional eating, speak with your bariatric team or a therapist who specialises in post-bariatric care.