Mental and Emotional Preparation

Preparing mentally and emotionally for gastric sleeve surgery is just as important as the physical preparation. It’s a big life change – not just a procedure, but a reset on how you think about food, health, and even yourself.

For us, this stage looked very different.

James is the sort of person who makes a decision and never looks back – confident, focused, and sure it’ll work out. Once he decided to have the surgery, that was it: “This will fix my liver, and I’ll finally get healthy.”

Kirsten, on the other hand, was nervous. She worried about the “what ifs” – the risks, the recovery, the possibility that something could go wrong. She needed reassurance, not only from our patient coordinators but also from people who had already been through it.

These two perspectives are equally valid – and between us, we covered both sides of the emotional spectrum.

Understanding What’s Ahead

No matter how confident or anxious you are, it’s important to be realistic. The surgery doesn’t magically fix everything overnight. It changes how you eat, how you think, and how you cope with emotions.

Here are the biggest lessons we learned about mental and emotional preparation:

1. Set Realistic Expectations

Before surgery, it’s easy to imagine what life might look like after – smaller clothes, better health, a new lease on life. All of that is possible, but it doesn’t happen instantly.

  • Food: After surgery, your relationship with food changes dramatically. One boneless chicken fillet can leave you full. You won’t be polishing off a McDonald’s meal after three months. It takes time for your brain to catch up with your new limits.
  • Weight Loss: Everyone loses weight at a different pace. Some people drop quickly; others stall and restart. Setting realistic goals early helps prevent disappointment and keeps you focused on long-term success rather than short-term numbers.

Tip: The American College of Surgeons’ Bariatric Surgery Calculator is a good tool to understand expected outcomes, but remember – it’s only a guide. You’re not in competition with anyone else.

2. Recognise Emotional Eating Before Surgery

Food isn’t just fuel – for many of us, it’s comfort. Before surgery, that was true for both of us in different ways.

  • James: focused more on health than comfort eating but often turned to food during stress.
  • Kirsten: found food a source of comfort, especially when anxious or uncertain.

Immediately after surgery, emotional eating isn’t physically possible. But as healing progresses and restriction eases slightly, old habits can creep back in.
If you can, it’s worth exploring this before surgery:

  • Identify triggers: Is it boredom? Stress? Sadness? Recognising patterns early helps you build better coping mechanisms.
  • Seek support: Talking to a counsellor or therapist can help reframe emotional eating, not as “weakness” but as a learned response that can be replaced with healthier habits.

3. Build a Support Network

Having a strong support system makes a huge difference. For us, it wasn’t just friends and family – it was also the community of people who’d already walked this path.

  • Family & Friends: We were open about what we were doing and why. Having those conversations early helped our loved ones understand our choices and support us during recovery.
  • Online Communities: The Weight Loss Riga Facebook group was a lifeline for Kirsten. Hearing from real patients, reading honest accounts, and asking questions gave her the reassurance she needed.
  • Each Other: Doing this as a couple was one of the best decisions we made. When one of us felt anxious, the other could provide balance and perspective.

Even if you’re going through this alone, you don’t have to be alone. There are thriving online groups and local meetups where people genuinely want to help.

4. Stay Positive – But Grounded

James’s mindset was simple: “This will work.”

That confidence helped him focus and stay calm through the process. But there’s a fine line between optimism and denial. Being positive doesn’t mean ignoring risks – it means acknowledging them, preparing for them, and trusting your plan.

Kirsten’s nervousness was just as important. It meant she asked more questions, double-checked details, and built a stronger safety net around us both. Her careful approach balanced James’s decisiveness.

Together, those differences made us stronger.

If you’re naturally anxious – that’s okay. Lean into preparation and community.

If you’re naturally confident – great, but stay open to learning and adjusting as you go.

5. Prepare Practically for Peace of Mind

Sometimes the best way to prepare mentally is to prepare practically. The more you plan, the less you have to worry about later.

  • Start adjusting your diet early: Following a liver reduction diet before surgery helps your body and your mind adapt to smaller meals.
  • Plan your recovery: Arrange time off work, childcare, and daily help if needed. Having support lined up reduces stress.
  • Keep a journal: Writing down your thoughts before and after surgery helps process emotions and track progress. It’s also a powerful reminder of how far you’ve come.

6. Work With Professionals

This journey is physical and psychological. Having professionals in your corner is vital.

  • Therapist or Counsellor: Can help manage anxiety, worry, or body image changes.
  • Dietitian: Guides your nutritional needs and helps you adjust safely.
  • Surgeon & Coordinators: Don’t hesitate to ask questions – the more you understand, the calmer you’ll feel.

What This Stage Taught Us

Mental preparation isn’t about being fearless – it’s about being ready. James focused on the outcome. Kirsten focused on the process. Both approaches worked because they complemented each other.

This stage reminded us that strength doesn’t always look the same – sometimes it’s decisiveness, sometimes it’s caution. Both are valid. Both are brave.

If you’re preparing for your own gastric sleeve surgery, take time to prepare your mind as much as your body.
Read, ask questions, and be kind to yourself – you’re not just changing your stomach, you’re changing your life.

Please Note: This is our personal experience, not medical advice. Always consult your GP or bariatric team before making medical or mental health decisions.