Content warning: this post talks openly about depression. If that’s not somewhere you can go today, this one will still be here another time.
By James
I don’t really know how to write this one properly, so I’m not going to try. This is just where I’m at right now.
It’s two and a half years since my first sleeve. Long enough that I’ve stopped counting in months. And it’s only really now that it’s dawning on me what I’ve actually lost along the way, not just what I’ve gained. I fell not long after the first surgery and hurt myself badly enough that I ended up back on the table for a second one. I came out of that with about 13% of my stomach left. Thirteen percent. I still don’t know what to do with that number some days.
I need to be honest about something here too. The nurses told me things after that first surgery, how to move, what to be careful of, and I didn’t listen properly. The fall that led to the second surgery wasn’t something that just happened to me. I did that. It’s easier to talk about this as something the surgery took from me, but the truth is closer to something I did to myself by not listening when I should have. That’s a hard thing to sit with, but it’s the honest version.
Every day now looks basically the same. Plain chicken. Peperamis. Repeat. Most food doesn’t agree with me anymore, and when it doesn’t, it really doesn’t. Yesterday I ate a bag of sweets, nothing dramatic, just sweets, and it took my whole evening from me. I was either doubled up in bed in pain or sat on the toilet with diarrhea for hours. That’s the trade now. One bag of sweets for one ruined evening.
Going out to eat has its own tax too. I sit there explaining, again, why I’ve left half the plate, why I’m not finishing what everyone else is finishing, why I ordered a starter instead of a main. I’ve had that conversation more times than I can count and it doesn’t get easier to have.
Here’s the part that messes with my head the most: I have never felt better about my body. I look better than I have in years. And I have never been this depressed in my life. Both of those things are true at the same time and I don’t know what to do with that either.
Then there’s the maintenance side of it, the bit nobody really talks about. The vitamins, every day, no exceptions. The iron tablets I forget because I’m tired or busy or just human, and then the anemia creeps back in and I’m fainting when I stand up too fast. It’s not a one-time fix, it’s a forever job, and some weeks I’m just not managing it.
And when I try to get help, actual help, for how I’m feeling, I keep hitting the same wall. My GP wants me to finish my ADHD and autism diagnosis first before they’ll properly engage with the rest of it. Except the adult diagnosis pathway isn’t moving right now because there are too many children waiting and they have to be the priority. I get why that’s the case. I understand it. But understanding it doesn’t change the fact that it leaves me stuck in the middle with nowhere to go, and a private diagnosis isn’t something they’ll accept either. So I wait, in the gap between two systems, while the fainting and the low days carry on.
I don’t have a neat ending for this one. I’m not looking for one right now. I just wanted to put down, honestly, what this actually feels like two and a half years in, because most of what gets written about this journey is the before and after photos, and not enough of it is this part.
If you’re going through something similar, especially the mental health side of any of this, please don’t sit with it alone the way I have been. Talk to someone, whether that’s your GP, a support group, or someone you trust.
About this content
This blog is written by James and Kirsten, a couple from the UK who had gastric sleeve surgery together in March 2024.
We started this blog because we couldn't find any sources of content that details before surgery, the surgery and then life post surgery - so we decided to write one ourselves.
Everything on this site is based on our own experience and the research we have done along the way. It is not medical advice. Gastric sleeve surgery is a serious procedure and every patient's journey is different. Please always consult your own bariatric team or GP before making any decisions about your health or treatment.
Some posts on this site may contain featured or sponsored content, or affiliate links. Where this is the case, it will always be clearly stated at the top of the article. Our opinions are always our own.
Publish Date: 25 July 2026 | Last Reviewed: 25 July 2026 | Next Planned Review: 25 January 2028